If you keep ending up with self-absorbed or controlling partners, the useful question is less why they find you and more what keeps you there: a hot-and-cold dynamic that feels familiar, a habit of over-giving, intensity that reads as chemistry, or boundaries that arrive too late. "Narcissist" is used loosely. The pattern worth looking at is yours, the one that repeats across different partners.
If someone close to you early on was powerful and unpredictable, that dynamic can feel like home, and home feels like chemistry.
Where a chart tends to show it: Sun opposite Pluto, Venus opposite Pluto, Moon conjunct Pluto
Empathy without limits is easy to take from. You give, believe enough care will change them, and stay.
Where a chart tends to show it: Venus in Pisces, Sun in Pisces, Life Path 9
Big highs and lows feel like depth. A relationship without them can feel like it is missing something.
Where a chart tends to show it: Venus conjunct Mars, Venus square Pluto, Venus conjunct Pluto
You admire their confidence because it is a confidence you have not claimed. Then they hold it over you.
Where a chart tends to show it: Descendant in Leo, Descendant in Aries, The 7th house
One person stays because the warm and cold cycle feels like the love they grew up with. Another stays because they believe enough care will change the other person. The first needs to learn that calm is not boredom. The second needs to stop treating rescue as love.
Self Dictionary finds yours. It calculates your chart and numbers from your birth date, time, and place, weighs every signal together, and writes which of these reasons is actually yours, as plain behavior. It shows up in these areas:
See how this pattern shows up in youFor reflection, not diagnosis. The reasons above are common psychological patterns; the chart signals are where Self Dictionary looks for them. If a pattern here is causing you real distress, a therapist who works with attachment can help.